Star Slayers: Collection
by Swish42
Summary: This is a collection of oneshot stories that take place outside the main plot of Star Slayers. Some of these will be cannon, while others will just be ridiculous 'what if' scenarios.


Disclaimer: This is an 'Alternate Universe' story based on the anime Slayers. The setting takes place in outer space aboard a star cruiser named the 'Star Slayer'. The stories that will be included in this collection are one shots that take place in between the main episodes I plan on posting. They are little stories and, like this one, might also include RP's. Enjoy.

Guy's Night Out: Star Slayers

Takes place between Episode One and Two.

Zelgadis takes a seat in the captain's chair and sinks right in. It might not be as comfortable as the solitude of the computer but it comes pretty close. The quiet hum of the machinery is all he needs to relax. He almost lets out a sigh.

Gourry is sitting at his station merely looking at all the new pretty screens in front of him and ponders what they all do. It hasn't been long since the ship transformed and he's still getting use to it, not that he understood how it worked before, but he is determined to at least figure out how to access the cannon. The mercenary is so intent on this endeavor that nothing else really can distract him.

The girls have all left the ship, something about a spa night for their successful escape from Rezo. Xellos is currently in his room doing who know what, something dark no doubt and Zelgadis hopes he stays there.

For a moment, Gourry debates on whether or not to hit one of the screens that says 'cannon' on it. Does he hit it? Does he avoid it? The indecision is seen the waving movement of his pointer finger as it hovers above the screen. Up and down up and down, but never touching.

Even with the quiet of nothing surrounding him, Zelgadis finds it hard to relax for more than a few seconds. Even though he knows the condition of the ship he can't keep himself from accessing his displays and checking things over. He knows what the screen will show him even before he accesses them.

Meanwhile, Gourry is lost in thoughts of his own. All of this thought over hitting one small screen is making Gourry's head hurt, maybe he should just eat something. Looking around Gourry is surprised to see Zelgadis in the captain's chair. He doesn't remember seeing Lina leave. "Hey Zel, where's Lina?" Gourry asks.

Zelgadis sighs in exasperation, how the oaf could forget the entire ruckus the girls made just thirty minutes ago is a mystery to him. First Sylphiel forgot her bag then Lina started going on a tirade about Amelia paying for all the expenses. "Lina and the other girls went to the spa." Zelgadis says simply.

"All of them?" Gourry asks with a little worry in his voice.

"Yes, all of them," Zelgadis rolls his eyes. "Something about a girl's night out." He shakes his head.

Immediately, Gourry stands from his chair and gives Zelgadis the most frightful look he's ever seen from the man. An expression that says we're going to die. "This is terrible," Gourry cries. "If Sylphiel isn't here, then how will we eat!"

"Calm down," Zelgadis practically growls, "They'll be back in the morning."

"What are we going to eat!?" Gourry continues. "We're going to starve!" For a bit Gourry continues ranting about food and panicking. The way Gourry is going on about food you might think the ship is on fire.

Zelgadis doesn't eat much in his new form anyway so he isn't overly concerned.

"We're doomed," Gourry finishes slumping into his plush and comfy chair, which offers him little comfort now.

Dead silence. The big man's distress is so bothersome Zelgadis cannot help but feel for the man partially. Although he cannot decide if he feels sorry for him or simply irritated. "Look," Zelgadis finally offers, "I'm sure Sylphiel left something in storage for us, we have plenty of rations. We're not going to starve."

"But rations taste terrible," Gourry points out firmly. "If Sylphiel didn't leave us anything I say we head for the nearest Star Diner!"

Zelgadis doesn't budge, "Go check what's in the kitchen, I'll stay and watch the bridge."

"I'll, be right back Zel!" Gourry races from the room following the helpful light on the ground that shows him the way to the kitchen. Not that he needs it to find the kitchen, to find his room maybe, but not the kitchen.

Before Zelgadis has a chance to get comfortable and enjoy the silence Gourry returns in a frenzy. "SHE DIDN'T LEAVE US ANYTING!" Gourry panics as he runs up to Zelgadis. "This note was left in the fridge!" Gourry hands the note to Zelgadis with tears glistening in his eyes.

"I ate all the food, Sorry, Lina" Zelgadis reads. The little smiley face she has by her name does nothing to calm poor Gourry.

Gourry doesn't bother holding back his tears now.

Zelgadis brings up a list of food in storage, "You can always just cook something yourself." Zelgadis doesn't want to move the ship if he doesn't have to. Lina has orders not to leave the quadrant without them.

"But I can't cook," Gourry wrings his hands through his hair, as the door behind them slides open.

"Is everything alright in here," Xellos asks with a beaming smile on his face. Anyone with any sense can obviously tell that something is wrong given Gourry's current emotional state, but Xellos loves to point out the obvious.

Here it comes, Zelgadis sighs.

"Xellos it's terrible, we don't have any food," Gourry runs up to the man with clenched fists desperately clinging close to his chest. "I know aliens don't eat much, but I certainly can't go without food!"

'Aliens?' Zelgadis thinks to himself, 'just what level of idiot is Gourry.'

"I'm sure Zelgadis keeps the ship well supplied," a sweat drop can almost be seen sliding down the Regals' face.

"But I don't know how to cook," now Gourry is shaking the man.

"Wait . . ." Gourry stops shaking Xellos long enough to give him a serious expression. Quite a feat since this is Gourry who is talking. "Do you know how to cook?!"

"I can cook a little," Xellos gently pries Gourry's hands off him, "Perhaps Zelgadis can do better though?"

Zelgadis turns away and pretends to be busy with one of the screens.

With the largest puppy dog eyes one can contrive from a grown man of twenty-two, Gourry gives Zelgadis the most pathetic and needy expression on this side of the galaxy. His life depends on this.

Zelgadis relents, "I don't know, I've never tried. I'm an engineer remember?"

"This is great," Gourry grabs Zelgadis's arm and then Xellos as they make their way off the bridge. "Dragon Slayer computer lady watch the helm for us please."

"Yes sir!" Dragon Slayer happily chimes as the door shuts tight behind them.

"I seem to recall seeing some cook books on the shelf," Xellos reflects softly as he is pulled along. Zelgadis merely grunts, but then begins to wonder where they came from. Sylphiel must have brought them or bought them from Clair's shop.

"Food Food Food Food," Gourry chants as they enter the kitchen. When they reach the kitchen, Gourry merely stands there in the center of the room and looks blankly ahead. He is waiting for something to happen, since he has no clue what her needs to do.

Zelgadis remains by the door; maybe he should have created an automated kitchen. At the time he had assumed Sylphiel would always be there and might be offended if he made such a kitchen during the ships reconstruction. Now he is seeing the downside to this decision.

"Gourry, find some pots and pans," Xellos instructs as he searches for ingredients. "Zelgadis bring up some recipes."

"Why not use the cook books Sylphiel has," Zelgadis opens one and looks inside. He is shocked to find that he cannot understand it. While he can understand most anything, recipes is apparently not one of those things.

"Because they are much too complicated for beginners," Xellos grins.

Approaching a display by what appears to be a cupboard Zelgadis speaks, "Dragon Slayer, display all recipes on file capable of being followed by armatures."

Immediately, hundreds of dishes are listed. Best to narrow the search further. "List in order of time required."

Nearly ten minutes later the men accomplish quite a lot, but nothing productive.

"I think it's alive," Gourry screams as something bubbles in the pot in front of him.

"Xellos are you trying to kill us, that can't be edible?" Zelgadis says looking into a pan that is supposed to be rice and veggies. "How on earth did it turn blue!"

"I'm pretty sure this is how it looked when I last made it," Xellos defends weakly with an idiotic smile dancing on his pale face.

The kitchen is a mess, the food is nearly all burned, and Gourry is not only starving, but may be scared for life.

"Let's just order pizza." Zelgadis finally says, "Before that blue fungus makes me completely lose my appetite."

And so for both dinner and breakfast the men order pizza. And everyone lives happily ever after . . . except Sylphiel who upon returning the next day promptly faints at the sight of the kitchen.

_Author's Note:_

_Hope you enjoyed this short piece, this is actually an RP I did with my sister Clang55. Clang played the part of Zelgadis, while I did Gourry and Xellos. It was a fast style RP so there are not a lot of details included here, but you get to see the guy's interacting which is always fun._

_For those of you interested in Episode 2 do not expect to see it until summer. The plot has been ironed out but it needs more meat to it._


End file.
